Remembrance Day

I lost my mom four years ago today. I miss her more than anything in the world and this death anniversary is the hardest so far. She was my teacher, guide, mentor, best friend… my everything. The love I have for my mother runs like blood through my veins – it’s a part of me. When we have something we take it for granted and the moment we are separated from it do we realize how big a part it was of our life. I thought my mother would stay with me forever. I thought there would always be time to listen to her, to do things she wanted me to do. But standing at her bedside moments after she was gone did I realize how lucky I was to have had such an amazing mother, to have been loved so truly, to have been raised by such a remarkable woman, and how unfortunate it was to have never taken out the time to tell her that I loved her, that I couldn’t live without her, that she meant more to me than the whole world. What I adore most about her is that she knew when to be strict and give me chance to better myself, when to be motherly and allow me to be a child, when to be a friend and let me share and when to be a counselor and walk me through difficult decisions. My life revolved around my mom and this week, out of all the weeks we have been separated, I miss her the most. “A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take” – Cardinal Mermillod. Rest in peace Ammi. Love you always!

Hope

The tide recedes, but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers in the land,
The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains...
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.

~Unknown

Believe

We moved to our current house last year. The journey from the old house to this one was filled with many tears and sighs, for reasons I won't get into the depths of. After living a few months in this house, I started liking it. We have a small backyard and since we don’t do any gardening, it’s not in a good shape at all, but it surprisingly has a rose bush. It never produced any flowers for the entire last summer, so I reached to the conclusion that it's not a rose bush and I'm mistaking it for some other plant. But just a couple of months ago, two flowers appeared on it - roses! I would look at them everyday and hope they'd survive and the bush would produce more roses. Although it was only those two roses, they changed the whole outlook of the backyard. Upon stepping outside, the eye would only focus on those two roses and ignore all the weeds and other overgrown bushes. No other flower ever appeared on the bush again, but those two roses did surprising things for me – they gave me hope! If flowers can appear out of nowhere after so long, what can stop them from growing again? And if that can happen, what can stop good things from happening? Things happen on their own and everything has a fixed time of occurrence. “And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should” – Max Ehrmann.

Why?

Why is it that we are encouraged to have two faces; hide the real one and show the fake one? Why can’t we show our true emotions and have the world accept us for who we are? Why is that people want to be with those who are always happy, always upbeat, always laughing? After being through everything that life throws at you, sometimes it takes a toll. Wounds of the heart heal slower than wounds of the body. The pain is reflected on the surface and it should be viewed as an award for courage, endurance and strength.

The End Justifies the Means

I'm a third year Psychology major. I love my major and I love my career choice. There's nothing else I'd rather be studying than Psychology. Every morning when I wake up, I'm just so delighted to be studying something I'm so passionate about, and I think that's a blessing. But it wasn't always like this. I was a Computer Science major once and I wanted to be a Computer Engineer. I enrolled as a Computer Science major and thought that was my dream. When I couldn't get ahead in that program, I was really upset. I completed high school in a private, non-government aided school, and I didn't have many of the opportunities that most public school students do. But I went to my school because my parents wanted me to go there. When I couldn't grasp some of the concepts of Computer Science in university, I blamed my parents for it. Had they not forced me to go to a private school, I would've picked up the skills essential to do well in Computer Science. I ended up changing my major and I wasn't too excited about the change when it was happening. But just a year later, when I chose a career in Psychology, I was pleasantly surprised on how happy I was with my decision. I tried to look deep down in my heart to find an iota of remorse for not being able to get a career in Computer Engineering, and I couldn't. My point is, things happen for a reason. It all makes sense at the end. We just have to go with the flow, and have faith. "Everything is okay in the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end."

Random Babbling

I have too many things on my mind right now and they’re all important, so it’s hard for me to focus on just one and write on it like my usual style. So I shall be writing everything! One of the many things that bother me is the concept of love. Divorces are the main things that throw me off the track. Does love die and you feel that you can’t live with a person, the same person you wanted to spend your whole life with? But love can’t die – it’s supposed to be eternal. People die, but love stays forever, or so I’ve heard. What IS love?

Another thing that bothers me is people. What is up with us?! We preach equality, kindness, friendship, generosity and hospitality to others, yet we don’t seem to follow our teachings ourselves. That has always annoyed me. In fact, just a couple of days ago I was thinking and I was really down over the fact that I couldn’t find a single real life example of kindness that could make me believe in humanity. This world seemed like ‘every man for himself’. No altruism whatsoever (except for in children’s story books or as examples of negating Darwin’s theory of ‘survival of the fittest’ in my textbooks). And then, fortunately, I remembered this amazing family who had helped us in one of our lowest times without any hesitation, reluctance or the thought that we would return their favor some day. A truly pure good deed, and I smiled and thought to myself that there are some exceptions left still. May God bless such exceptions!

You can’t be a real student until you have complained about your teachers, so here goes:
‘my teacher and a donkey were sitting on a trail
the only difference I could see, the donkey had a tail’
As much as I disagreed with this in high school, I now equally agree with it. Some professors (and TA’s), man… frankly I don’t know what they’re doing teaching. They should all be living in a village, far away from schools, and should remain that way forever. I have spent the last two and a half weeks in one of the most distressing times of my student life. Luckily that period ended two days ago. And all that torture because my TA didn't respond to my email and my professor was too lazy to have even allowed us to email him when a problem arose. You’re getting paid for being a professor pal, do your job as a prof. and actually earn that money you bum!

~I call attention to the dark side maybe a little bit for mutual catharsis but also to try to paint the universe as it is - both sides of it. John Shirley

God's Promise

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

Walking Down the Memory Lane...

When nights are dark and the pain is bright, the heart travels to the past. On its way it meets many wonderful moments, shakes hands with them, and continues going. And then when it reaches its final destination, time spent with a deceased beloved, it finds itself unable to say a word and comes back to the present through tears.

Rust

by Mary Carolyn Davies

Iron, left in the rain
And fog and dew,
With rust is covered. Pain
Rusts into beauty too.

I know full well that this is so:
I had a heartbreak long ago.

Inescapable Reality

I always believed in fate, but I guess I never really understood the concept. In life you go through so many ups and downs…you’re meant to go through them. If you accept this, it’ll make your life easy. What is to happen will happen, so why fight it? Try to make the best out and of it. “To bear is to conquer our fate.” – Thomas Campbell.

Inside Bruises

The candle melted off. In the darkness that followed, shadows screamed. The strong wind hid the cries in its wailing. The last leaf fell down and the stars disappeared. The night got darker and the land remained barren. Morning never came.

Special People

Everyone has the right to be treated with respect. But there are some people who actually earn that respect. These are the people who are the least likely to stand out among the common population, yet there's something quite unique about them. And after the exchange of just a few words, you can't help but respect and admire them. These are the people who have such an effect on you that once you've met them, you're never really the same again.

Emptiness

People around us have deep impact on our lives. Sometimes, just having one person in our lives gives us the greatest joy imaginable, and losing that person can snatch away the very feeling of existence. Some people are too special to let go of, and when you do, you find that a part of you left with them.