Every journey ends at some point. You bring back souvenirs from your travels. In the case of life they're called memories. I sure carry some with me from my time at my university:
1. My very first class on my very first day. This guy turns to me and starts speaking Arabic. So I just looked at him and he was like, "Oh you don't know Arabic? You look Egyptian though".
2. Same day, when I was coming home, after having attended my only class for that day, I saw bhaiyya coming. His class was at 7 and it was 2 then. So I was puzzled. He told me he was coming to bring me my umbrella which I had forgotten at home. The weather forecast ppl had predicted rain for that day. I added him on my msn that day!
3. First time I met Sabeen. Hamdiya and I knew each other from high school, but we weren't friends. She was a year senior. So was Tahira, but Hamdiya and Tahira were best friends, and Hamdiya knew Sabeen. So Hamdiya invited me, Tahira and Sabeen to her house for Iftaar. She was the first one from all of us to get a car. So when she was dropping us back home, I kinda started talking to Sabeen. We sorta made friends. All of us in that car then did become friends. Friendship continues even now :)
4. Tahira despising my brother! So in my second year I was taking Comp. Sci. and Tahira and I were in the same class. We were writing the code for one of our assignments and we were stuck. So I asked my brother, via msn. I had to go ask the TA something, so Tahira came to my computer and clarified something with my brother. When she got it, he told her, "You da man", something he says to me when I get something right. Tahira being Tahira, took it to heart. How I am not a man and how this is insulting or something. He still thought he was talking to me, so he started being more... masculine... about the "praise". That was the start to Tahira da man (as he still calls her and she knows it) becoming famous in our house.
5. End of first year, all of us playing "kho kho" behind MSA stairs. I had made a lot of friends by then. :) Fun times man. That remained the end-of-the-year tradition for almost all the years to come. It coincided with Yasmeen's birthday, so gave us reason to continue on with it. Sabeen would bring the cake though.
6. The Iftaars! So our MSA was awesome in that it would give free Iftaars everyday. Yasmeen was one of the execs. For the people who had evening classes, she would save the drinks, because the drinks were the first things to end. So after we'd pray Maghrib, we didn't have time to get in the line, eat the food, and still make it to class on time. So we'd turn to Yasmeen and she'd have our food ready to go. Made life so much easier!
7. Tahira buying me food. That girl's generosity knows no bounds. Some semesters I used to have back to back classes, sometimes three three-hour long ones. So I'd just rush to the MSA to pray Zuhr or Asr and then rush to the next class. Tahira knew this. She'd buy me me food on those days and would put it in my bag and would just let me know that there's food in there. She took care of me like that. She never got paid for those lunches though. I'd always forget and when I remembered she wouldn't take the money. It's called a blessing when you get friends like that.
8. MSA Eid dinners. Joy and pleasure!
9. BIO! I waited till the last possible semester to take that course. One of my profs was gay. He walked funny, clapped a lot, made that swish sound from his mouth when talking, giggled a lot... oh boy. Liked to talk about his partner too. Dude was bald. I used to go to that class JUST for entertainment. Sure got what I went for. Passed with a D though, but COME ON!, I'm not interested in how electrons get energy and which stage of photosynthesis creates the most glucose or the cycles of cell division. I know I'm a girl and that's enough bio for me.
10. Bumping into familiar ppl everyday. I went to York recently to get together with a group of friends and everyone is new now. No familiar faces. It was a bit strange.
THE BEST PART about York was Sabeen though. Undoubtedly. Shared so much, learned so much, gained so much. And it's nothing short of sheer joy to report that she's asleep in the next room! In her room. We're sisters now. And we will be sisters always inshaAllah. What more?!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
:)
This feels so good, you have no idea! Having a computer I mean. I borrowed my sister's actually. Still feels awesome though.
I had quite a few things I wanted to talk about. To get out of me. Blog serves the purpose quite well. Interesting now that I have a laptop in front of me, I'm kinda blank as to what to write here. I think we get used to things being a certain way. Eventually they get ingrained in us. We get used to them to the extent that they become an integral part of life. We take them for granted. And this is where we go wrong: we stop enjoying them. We forget to enjoy them because now they've become permanent.
Take relationships for instance. When lovers become spouses, they kinda lose their charm. Not instantly, but over the course of time. Though if you think about it, spouses should care about each other more now because now this is permanent - for life. They're each other's need now so they should care for each other that much more. Cherish things that you can't live without.
Caring increases longevity. We're in the process of moving to another house. So we're seeing houses these days. There was this one house that isn't really old, but it's not new either. Then there's this other house which is the same age as the first one, but looks much more fresh. The owners took care of it! That's all it needed... caring. Imagine people. We're not as strong as houses made for us, thus we require more caring. It need not be someone else caring for you though. Take care of yourself.
It's nice to take care of yourself. Try it. You'll love it. When you're by yourself, pretend that the person you love the most is with you. Then refer to yourself like that person would talk to you. It might sound a little wacky when you're reading it, but it sure feels nice.
I'm taking the person I love the most with me to Australia - my youngest brother :) My eldest brother offered me a graduation gift. I asked for a vacation and he gave it to me. Sibling relationships are funny. You love 'em, you hate 'em. There are times that they say or do things that touch you. Like today. He brought for me this key chain. It's a cat! It meows three times then says 'I love you' when you press its belly. I actually played with it while watching a movie. Cute cat man. And then there are things they do that just make you grateful to them. Like this vacation. I'm not just touched, I'm grateful. I can't emphasize how much I needed this vacation.
You might think it weird that my brother is going with me. But it's not weird. It's actually nice. I want him to come. He's going through this phase where he wants to be independent and not be with his family members and just be rude. Well people are saying it's a phase. I don't really know what it is. I kinda raised this kid, and it pains me when he shuns me out like this. I understand the need for privacy and all but this is hurting me.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I have a right to love him though, don't I? I'm beginning to feel that he doesn't care about me - or anyone else for that matter. And that's what's killing me. There are some things that he's saying, some decisions he has made in his life that I'm not understanding. When I said I raised him, I actually meant it. My dad agrees. So what I'm feeling is, is maybe I didn't do a good job in raising him. Maybe I should've instilled values better in him. Should've taught him better. I'm beginning to feel like I failed my mom somewhere. I was the older sibling. He was the kid. I should've raised him better. Maybe I'm being too hard on him, on myself. I did do the best I could. I don't know.
This thing with him is making me postpone the decision of having kids -- getting married. I've only (in retrospect) put in 6 years in him. I'll be putting around 20 years in my kids. And then one day if they say they don't need me, rather don't want me, it'll hurt that much more, wouldn't it? But when I see it from his perspective, I sorta see where he's coming from. It's HIS life. He should spend it whatever way HE feels is right, without any consideration whatsoever to the surroundings, including ppl. Sounds selfish? Maybe. But think about it: your life, your way. Uplifting, no?
So this is what I'm doing these days. My life, my way. Well to the best of my ability anyway. I'm still caring for my dad and brothers on a day to day basis, but in the long run, I think I'll make my own decisions. Marriage when there's time for it - according to me. Further education if I feel like it. Job... maybe. I still want to be a useful member of the community and also want to put my $30,000+ education to good use, but that is my thinking, and doesn't come under "outer influence".
I think I'm being incoherent now. Not a bad thing though, cuz I think I've let out my major thinking points. Going to see more houses tomorrow. So I'll sign off for now. Wish to be back soon. Yeah I can blog from my iPod, but typing is annoying there. So I just stay away. But you never know!
I had quite a few things I wanted to talk about. To get out of me. Blog serves the purpose quite well. Interesting now that I have a laptop in front of me, I'm kinda blank as to what to write here. I think we get used to things being a certain way. Eventually they get ingrained in us. We get used to them to the extent that they become an integral part of life. We take them for granted. And this is where we go wrong: we stop enjoying them. We forget to enjoy them because now they've become permanent.
Take relationships for instance. When lovers become spouses, they kinda lose their charm. Not instantly, but over the course of time. Though if you think about it, spouses should care about each other more now because now this is permanent - for life. They're each other's need now so they should care for each other that much more. Cherish things that you can't live without.
Caring increases longevity. We're in the process of moving to another house. So we're seeing houses these days. There was this one house that isn't really old, but it's not new either. Then there's this other house which is the same age as the first one, but looks much more fresh. The owners took care of it! That's all it needed... caring. Imagine people. We're not as strong as houses made for us, thus we require more caring. It need not be someone else caring for you though. Take care of yourself.
It's nice to take care of yourself. Try it. You'll love it. When you're by yourself, pretend that the person you love the most is with you. Then refer to yourself like that person would talk to you. It might sound a little wacky when you're reading it, but it sure feels nice.
I'm taking the person I love the most with me to Australia - my youngest brother :) My eldest brother offered me a graduation gift. I asked for a vacation and he gave it to me. Sibling relationships are funny. You love 'em, you hate 'em. There are times that they say or do things that touch you. Like today. He brought for me this key chain. It's a cat! It meows three times then says 'I love you' when you press its belly. I actually played with it while watching a movie. Cute cat man. And then there are things they do that just make you grateful to them. Like this vacation. I'm not just touched, I'm grateful. I can't emphasize how much I needed this vacation.
You might think it weird that my brother is going with me. But it's not weird. It's actually nice. I want him to come. He's going through this phase where he wants to be independent and not be with his family members and just be rude. Well people are saying it's a phase. I don't really know what it is. I kinda raised this kid, and it pains me when he shuns me out like this. I understand the need for privacy and all but this is hurting me.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I have a right to love him though, don't I? I'm beginning to feel that he doesn't care about me - or anyone else for that matter. And that's what's killing me. There are some things that he's saying, some decisions he has made in his life that I'm not understanding. When I said I raised him, I actually meant it. My dad agrees. So what I'm feeling is, is maybe I didn't do a good job in raising him. Maybe I should've instilled values better in him. Should've taught him better. I'm beginning to feel like I failed my mom somewhere. I was the older sibling. He was the kid. I should've raised him better. Maybe I'm being too hard on him, on myself. I did do the best I could. I don't know.
This thing with him is making me postpone the decision of having kids -- getting married. I've only (in retrospect) put in 6 years in him. I'll be putting around 20 years in my kids. And then one day if they say they don't need me, rather don't want me, it'll hurt that much more, wouldn't it? But when I see it from his perspective, I sorta see where he's coming from. It's HIS life. He should spend it whatever way HE feels is right, without any consideration whatsoever to the surroundings, including ppl. Sounds selfish? Maybe. But think about it: your life, your way. Uplifting, no?
So this is what I'm doing these days. My life, my way. Well to the best of my ability anyway. I'm still caring for my dad and brothers on a day to day basis, but in the long run, I think I'll make my own decisions. Marriage when there's time for it - according to me. Further education if I feel like it. Job... maybe. I still want to be a useful member of the community and also want to put my $30,000+ education to good use, but that is my thinking, and doesn't come under "outer influence".
I think I'm being incoherent now. Not a bad thing though, cuz I think I've let out my major thinking points. Going to see more houses tomorrow. So I'll sign off for now. Wish to be back soon. Yeah I can blog from my iPod, but typing is annoying there. So I just stay away. But you never know!
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