Perfect Life

I have a friend. She's my best friend. I love her dearly. She's one of the best things in my life. I feel she can read my thoughts and interpret them for me as well. I can never thank God enough for her. In the many years that we've been friends, I don't remember us fighting over anything. And it's not that her and I have the same interests in everything we talk about. We have our independent, unique personalities, but when it comes to our opinions, we leave it at that - this is what you believe and this is what I think. We give each other the room to be ourselves. I was imagining how wonderful my life will be if I spent it with her, and vice versa. We could move out of this city, move up North somewhere. Live together. Rent an apartment or something. We're at the point where we can support at least ourselves, financially, and quite comfortably. We'd buy a car. When we'd come home from work, who ever wants to cook will cook. If neither of us wants to cook we can order take-out. If both of us want to cook we'll freeze the leftovers. Same goes for everything else - chore wise. On weekends, we'd go wherever we want. Stay out as long as we'd want to. Since we're each others' best friends, we love to spend time with each other. We happen to have the same circle of friends, for the most part. The ones that are not mutual, we love to meet them too. I'd love to meet her friends, and vice versa. All in all, I imagine an aweosme life if we were to live together and spend it with each other. I'm not implying homosexuality in any way. I'm not interested in her, or any other female, that way. I'm talking about a deeper-than-physical relationship. I'm talking about the love that springs from the heart and takes over the soul. It's not sexual needs whose fulfilment fill the heart with content - it's emotional needs. If it were only physical needs, then anyone who can afford to hire male or female hookers would be satisfied -- in every sense of the term. Anyway, if I could live with her, it'd be a good life. That, I can guarantee. We'd never hurt each other, because we care for each other. I'd never ask her to do something which I know she wouldn't want to do, and vice versa. We can travel together, live together, laugh together. Just her and I, finding our niche in the world.

If this is the kind of love that people write love songs for, and if this is what it feels to be in love, then I sincerely pray I find that in my life partner. That everyone finds in their life partners.

Natural Affiliation

I LOVE nature. I feel pangs of longing when I see pictures of rain, gardens, beaches, waterfalls, fields -- anything that has to do with nature. One of my BIGGEST desires is to see the world - to travel across the globe and see it. I'm here, aren't I? I'll be here only for the next few decades - might as well enjoy 'em. I'm fascinated with Amsterdam these days. I would love to visit it some time soon.

Look at the picture above. Wouldn't you want to be in it?!

Nostalgia

There's this 'biophilia model', which asserts that "human identity, personal fulfillment, and a coherent existence depend on our relationship to nature". I think I fit this model perfectly well. I have this longing to be near nature, as close to it as possible. When I saw 'twilight', I was filled with an aching pain to be at those mountains, to touch those beautiful tall trees. Here's a list of things that I'm dying to do:

- Fly to places.. travel the world. I LOVE to fly.
- Going on nature walks.
- Camping in the woods.
- Reading something wonderful at a scenic site.

This is it for now. I once heard somewhere when you write down your wishes, nature sees that they get fulfilled. So that's my hope for this entry.

Advantages of Studying

Our internet connection was down a few days ago. I had to study for my midterm, for a course called 'Death and Dying'. As the name suggests, it's a happy and cheerful course - quite uplifting! I take 10-minute breaks after every hour or so of studying, and during that time, to keep myself from getting depressed over some of the most profound case studies, I listen to upbeat songs and watch funny clips on youtube. Since I couldn't access the internet that day, I decided to look in to my music folder to see if I have any songs there, and I came across several that were sent to me by my friends. I don't listen to the full songs if they don't get my attention in the first 30 seconds. So these songs were there and I listened to them one by one, liking only one out of the four. But as I got in to heart-breaking topics like 'Death in the World of Children', my need for dissonance increased, and I decided to give the songs I didn't like another chance. I did give them another chance, and didn't like one of the songs for the first 4 times that I heard it. But from the fifth time onwards, I started liking it. Later that night, a time came where I was in love with it -- still am.

Any chance to get away from reading about kids' experiences of bereavement, I started thinking about the extension of my little experience to things such as arranged marriags and compromise. I belong to a culture where arranged marriages are the norm rather than exception. The thought of being in a loveless, dead-end marriage sometimes scares me to my very being. Although there's a difference between 'arranged marriages' and 'forced marriages', and I know I'll have a choice in choosing my life partner, this freedom doesn't guarantee me the love that might be present if someone was to approach me outside the context of family and get to know me before asking me to marry him. Not that I have any restrictions upon me in choosing my future husband, there are greater chances of me getting married the traditional way, and this thought of getting someone stuck with me, who doesn't love me, petrifies me. But now I'm thinking, maybe you get used to things, to people, to atmospheres. As long as they're not clearly contradicting your personal views, morals, values, style, etc., you can grow to like them. Time spent together has to count for something, right?

Can't pray hard enough for this optimism to turn into reality.

Fantasy

Unfulfilled wishes and desires manifest themselves in the form of fantasies. Here’s mine: A distant and far away land where the moon and the stars shine bright…where the plants are greener than green…where water is still pure…where the air is fresh, the breeze refreshingly cool…not a single soul anywhere close by…I want to be there at night, sitting on a rock by the lake…undisturbed, and I want the night to stay still.