Highlights of the Wedding

It would've made more sense if I did this post after the Walima, but I'm bored now, so I'm doing it now. My last exam was on the 18th of last month, and the wedding was 20 days later, on the 9th of August. So from the 19th til the 9th, we were crazy busy. There were some things that particularly stood out for me. Just some memorable events and things that are making me laugh these days. Thought I'd spread the joy around:

• Baji! - The jeweler was a Pakistani uncle who undoubtedly was my dad's age, and he kept calling me baji. Even if he wasn't my dad's age (although he was), he was still clearly older than I am. My aunt was with me, who was calling me 'beta' when she was talking to me, and he wasn't calling her baji. The genius was calling me baji. It pissed me off then, but it makes me smile now.
• Hidden Racism - We went on a mehndi search, and landed at this Indian shop. So I'm checking out the cones there and my brother was reading the many boxes they had at the counter. On one of them, it said, "Kaalon se hoshiyaar rehiye" (beware of a certain group of ppl). The lady at the counter should've been offended. She was from India and she was dark-skinned! As soon as he read it, I turned to him, and asked him to repeat what he had said. He did. I couldn't believe what I had heard. I made him repeat it again -- same thing. So I went to him. I wanted to see it for myself. How could such a thing get exported?! When I finally got to it, it said "Naqqalon se hoshiyaar rehiye" (beware of imitators).
  
• Language fail - Technically we are Punjabis but we can't speak the language. When we do, the Punjabi speakers start speaking Urdu, just to shut us up. But we understand it for the most part. When we went to get the Mithaayee to take with the baraat, the shopkeeper was some Sikh person. So here we are, telling her in English what we want. We wanted mixed sweets. She packed all Gulaab Jaamun. Then again, we tell her we want mixed sweets, she takes out the Gulaab Jaamun and packs all Barfis. So yet again, in Urdu this time, we asked her to please give us mixed sweets, and she calls her husband from inside. He did the same thing, with Ras Gullas and Barfis! Now we were pissed, confused and amused at the same time. We were running out of time and these ppl had no idea what we wanted and this was after we had told them this a couple days before. Then bhaiyya being the guy he is, started speaking Punjabi. If I wasn't so astonished, I would've laughed the roof off. Finally the now three ppl at the counter understood what we wanted, and we got our mixed Mithaayee.
• Nands are gay - Someone posted a song translation of some tamil song and it sounds like they're saying "nuns are gay". So at like... 3 AM on the night before the wedding, I was sitting down with my brothers, talking about my friends' reaction to me being my best friend's nand, and how this is kinda offending me because they're attributing the negative stereotyoes to me, my brother remembered the song "nuns are gay". He thought I would've heard of it, but I hadn't. So he was talking about it as if I knew the song, and I misheard "nuns" as "nands". So I just looked at him, and I was like, "I'm not gay, man". And then, please keep in mind this was at 3 AM after 20 days of nonstop work and I was exhausted, both mentally and physically, I looked at my brothers and said, "At least I think I'm not". You can imagine the rest.
• Pwned - My youngest brother is awesome! After he had his food and dessert, he took off his tux, took off his shoes, put his headphones on, put his legs on the chair, and started listening to songs, while we were still in the hall!

• Wedding aftershocks - It's all fun and nice to go to the parlour and get your hair done. But when it comes time to undone what's been done, it's not so fun and nice. Let's just say that someone had a huge amount of backcombing done and when she tried to get her hair to come to its natural state, she looked like a troll doll. It was fun to laugh so hard.
  

At the end though, we have a new member of our family and we're all very grateful to Allah s.w.t.